Yossarian on God.

A brilliant passage from Joseph Heller's Catch 22, narrating Yossarian's religious views.

Thanksgiving Day came and went without any fuss while Yossarian was still in the hospital. The only bad thing about it was the turkey for dinner, and even that was pretty good. It was the most rational Thanksgiving he had ever spent, and he took a sacred oath to spend every future Thanksgiving Day in the cloistered shelter of a hospital. He broke his sacred oath the very next year, when he spent the holiday in a hotel room instead in intellectual conversation with Lieutenant Scheisskopf's wife, who had Dori Duz's dog tags on for the occasion and who henpecked Yossarian sententiously for being cynical and callous about Thanksgiving, even though she didn't believe in God just as much as he didn't.

'I'm probably just as good an atheist as you are,' she speculated boastfully. 'But even I feel that we all have a great deal to be thankful for and that we shouldn't be ashamed to show it.'

[...]

'And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways,' Yossarian continued, hurtling on over her objection. 'There's nothing so mysterious about it. He's not working at all. He's playing. Or else He's forgotten all about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about - a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?'

'Pain?' Lieutenant Scheisskopf's wife pounced upon the word victoriously. 'Pain is a useful symptom. Pain is a warning to us of bodily dangers.'

'And who created the dangers?' Yossarian demanded. He laughed caustically. 'Oh, He was really being charitable to us when He gave us pain! Why couldn't He have used the doorbell instead to notify us, or one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of blue and red neon tubes right in the middle of each person's forehead. Any jukebox manufacturer worth his salt could have done that. Why couldn't He?'

'People would certainly look silly walking around with red and blue neon tubes in the middle of their foreheads.'

'They certainly look beautiful now writhing in agony or stupefied with morphine, don't they? What a colossal, immoral blunderer! When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid ugly mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering. It's obvious He never met a payroll. Why, no self-respecting businessman would hire a bungler like Him as even a shipping-clerk!'

Lieutenant Scheisskopf's wife had turned ashen with disbelief and was ogling him with alarm. 'You'd better not talk that way about Him, honey,' she warned him reprovingly in a low and hostile voice. 'He might punish you.'

'Isn't He punishing me enough?' Yossarian snorted resentfully. 'You know, we mustn't let Him get away scot free for all the sorrow He's caused us. Someday I'm going to make Him pay. I know when. On Judgment Day. Yes, that's the day I'll be close enough to reach out and grab that little yokel by His neck and -'

'Stop it! Stop it!' Lieutenant Scheisskopf's wife screamed suddenly, and began beating him ineffectually about the head with both fists. 'Stop it!'

Yossarian ducked behind his arm for protection while she slammed away at him in feminine fury for a few seconds, and then he caught her determinedly by the wrists and forced her gently back down on the bed. 'What the hell are you getting so upset about?' he asked her bewilderedly in a tone of contrite amusement, 'I thought you didn't believe in God.'

'I don't,' she sobbed, bursting violently into tears. 'But the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be.'

Yossarian laughed and turned her arms loose. 'Let's have a little more religious freedom between us,' he proposed obligingly. 'You don't believe in the God you want to, and I won't believe in the God I want to. Is that a deal?'

Catch-22.

What is Catch-22?

'You're wasting your time,' Doc Daneeka was forced to tell him.
'Can't you ground someone who's crazy?'
'Oh, sure. I have to. There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy.'
'Then why don't you ground me? I'm crazy. Ask Clevinger.'
'Clevinger? Where is Clevinger? You find Clevinger and I'll ask him.'
'Then ask any of the others. They'll tell you how crazy I am.'
'They're crazy.''Then why don't you ground them?'
'Why don't they ask me to ground them?'
'Because they're crazy, that's why.'
'Of course they're crazy,' Doc Daneeka replied. 'I just told you they're crazy, didn't I? And you can't let crazy people decide whether you're crazy or not, can you?'
Yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. 'Is Orr crazy?'
'He sure is,' Doc Daneeka said.
'Can you ground him?'
'I sure can. But first he has to ask me to. That's part of the rule.'
'Then why doesn't he ask you to?'
'Because he's crazy,' Doc Daneeka said. 'He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he's had. Sure, I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to.'
'That's all he has to do to be grounded?'
'That's all. Let him ask me.'
'And then you can ground him?' Yossarian asked.
'No. Then I can't ground him.'
'You mean there's a catch?'
'Sure there's a catch,' Doc Daneeka replied, 'Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.'
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
'That is some catch, that Catch-22,' he observed.
'It's the best there is,' Doc Daneeka agreed.

Labels.

I just realised that I have never used tags or labels on any of my posts.

Is it too late to change them all now?

I'll take a looky...

Heavenly.

Peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk.

Brings back stuff from childhood...

Damn good sandwich, too!

By the way, does anybody else have the urge to have a glass of milk after a peanut butter sandwich?

The Puppet Man of Norwich.

For those who have been to, visited, or have lived/stayed in, Norwich and/or Great Yarmouth, have you ever heard or come across this guy? He is old, wears a hat and a dog puppet, and just waves it about when "singing" along rather atrociously to music played on his tape player mounted on some contraption...

The places, to which I've been.

Aberystwyth.

Last week (the 1st of June) I was driving up to Dolgellau, in Snowdonia, with the hiking club I used to be a member of at Swansea uni (www.hiking.org.uk) and we stopped off in Aberystwyth for an hour or so...  I haven't been there for a while, and the weather was great there! As compared to the most recent weekend, when there were severe weather warnings and floods and storms. Even the local lifeboat crew had to be rescued. There are still lots of problems in that area due to these floods, so I thought I'd cheer the mood of those people by posting photos of the waterfront with niiiice weather. That is... if people from Aberystwyth and that area actually read this!

Waterfall Country.

So, I'm going to post more stuff on here. For the time being, they'll mostly be photos and stuff. But yeah.. other stuff may crop up now and then.

So a few weeks ago, I was walking through what is called 'Waterfall Country'. Not really a country at all, but it's an area of the Brecon Beacons national park here in south Wales, which has a loooong waterfall system between Ystradfellte and Pontneddfechan. So, since I don't have many waterfall photos up, I'll post up those from a few weeks ago. (I do have older ones, which I may put up at another time).

And uploading them, I noticed most of them are of kayakers (not canoeists, since canoes carry at least two people, as opposed to one in kayaks) hauling themselves off waterfalls, which seems amazing fun! So, since there aren't many 'picturesque' and scenic ones of the waterfalls, I shall upload them. But not now.

Even more Gowerer!

A while ago, I posted a post about the Gower and its connections with Dr Who and Torchwood. Well, I've been back since (a couple of times) and took some more photos! Sooo here they are! They are mostly of Worm's Head, and the ones with the fire, well, that's next to it. I was walking back to my car when I looked back and saw this massive blaze. So, as you do, I went back and took photos of it. I didn't really want to get too close, and I didn't take photos of when I got to the closest I went, but it was a bit like Mordor...

Pen Y Fan.

Last week, I walked up Pen Y Fan with a group from Gorseinon college (now Gower College Swansea) in aid of two charities, those being Blood Bikes Wales and Healing The Wounds (click the charities to visit their websites for information, etc).

Anyway, I arrived a bit earlier than the group, simple reason being that I live a bit further up the valleys, and having a car, I didn't really see the point in driving from Pontardawe to go to Gorseinon, waiting for the minibus with the group, then going to Tycoch for those without kit to get kitted, and then go up the valley, basically via Pontardawe (or parallel to it if going up the Neath valley), and then repeat it all in reverse order. So, since I had a car and the appropriate kit, I arranged to meet them up there (this also gave me an extra hour in bed. So it was all win).

Now, thus far into the week it has been foggy everywhere. On the Tuesday, I drove from Pontardawe (covered in fog) up to Ystradgynlais to pick up my grandparents to take them to Gatwick airport. And Ystrad is 5 miles away, and it had the most glorious weather. It was weird. As I was driving into Ystalyfera, the fog suddenly disappeared. And on the way back, I saw it. It didn't move at all. This wall of fog was there, and suddenly engulfed everything. Like some portal or something.

Anyway... back to where I was. This fog business gave me a suspicion that it may be similar in the mountains, where it would be foggy on the low ground, but clear on the higher. I was hoping this would be the case, since I've only seen such things in photos or out of an airplane window.

So as I made my way via Penderyn and the A4059 (which is one of the best roads to drive on in the area... in clear weather!), I couldn't see a thing, which can be awkward, since there are cattle, horses and sheep roaming freely. At the car park, just down the road from the Storey Arms, I waited for the bus, and just watched some workers cutting down diseased trees and people coming in and out of the hillside fog, I took a photograph (below) showing the fog and the trees hiding Fan Fawr.

Shortly after this and a packet of crisps, the bus arrived and we headed up. There was nothing to see first of all, and most of the group hadn't been up Pen Y Fan before, so there were soon signs of impatience and the like, but myself and those who know what's ahead kept reassuring, hoping that it all wasn't going to be in vain. But eventually, the sun rays soon began to break through the wall of fog and faint shades were beginning to develop. Eventually, it could be seen ahead the slight outline of the hilltops, becoming intermittently apparent through the cloud. It finally broke up and we were just coming out and above the cloud line. Below shows the scene as Corn Du and the rest of the path came into view:

By this time, it was getting rather warm and one or two were starting to struggle, since this was basically something new. But we managed to keep ourselves going. The prospect of one of the summits being in sight and the views around us really did help things along. The fact that the path was well marked out and not steep was a bonus, too. It's just looooong...

So we reached the bottom-ish bit of Corn Du, which is the peak right next to Pen Y Fan. I can't really call it a peak, since Corn Du and Pen Y Fan both have flat summits (this is due to the hard rock that wasn't washed away by glaciers, unlike the soft rock, which once sat on top of the hard stuff). Since you can't really see Pen Y Fan until this point, some did wonder how far and how much more of a climb it is. But here, it could be seen that it's right next to it, and though Corn Du is something like a few yards shorter than Pen Y Fan, there is another bit of a descent, followed by a gradual ascent. Nothing Alpine at all... just a li'l col!

From the point shown in the photograph above (which is called Bwlch Y Gwynt, meaning Windy Pass), Pen Y Fan could clearly see (though it isn't actually in this photo... it's to the left/north-east... I was just showing the location of the point), and along with the adjacent Cribyn (with its distinctive feature protruding out over Llyn Cwm Llwch, meaning 'Lake of Dust Valley', probably also means 'deposit/dirt/stuff' as in... glacial leftovers. This is an educated guess on my part. So don't take my word as gospel) and Corn Du, they form the Fan Dance, which is an important stage in the British special forces selection process.

Anyway, they also form the Western end of a ridge, below, stretching from the Storey Arms to Talybont in the eastern end of the national park (this walk is highly recommended in good weather, though a decent fitness level is a good idea. Very nice pub at the other end, too. It's called the Star Inn in Aber, along the banks of the Brecon Canal). I'll have to post something about it when I go there next time!

And we finally reach Pen Y Fan! It isn't the most spectacular of summits. To be honest, the views are much better, but it's still a good walk and not so strenuous, either. It can be done in about 2 hours at a decent pace, so it's not as if a base camp or anything is needed! Below are more photos, showing the summit and nearby stuff, including a better view of the ridge I mentioned just now... I'm sure you could work out which it is (look for a ridge and a mountain with a sticky-out-ish bit)!